Caught Up in Between

Table of Contents

 

Chapter 1

“Hey Becca! Open your eyes, sleepyhead! We’re almost at our hotel.” I woke up startled. Ugh, my neck hurt. How had I managed to fall asleep during a thirty-minute ride? I turned my head and looked at my best friend, Kate. She practically jumped with excitement, sitting behind the steering wheel of my Prius. “Why are you yelling?” “Are you kidding me?! Tomorrow you and I will be settling into our dorm, and tonight we are going to our first college party at the infamous Kappa Alpha fraternity! I don’t even know which I am more excited about!” “Let me guess? I bet it’s the party!” I laughed because she’d noticed my sarcastic tone of voice and frowned. “You’re no fun!” “Sorry, Kate, I promise to behave.” “I honestly can’t believe that our parents let us leave for college before tomorrow’s move-in day. I thought we would be coming here with them in tow, but I guess the fact that we’re both eighteen and never got into any trouble, they let it slide! I’m glad they don’t know our secrets!” She winked at me, and I laughed. “So, tonight is the party, and it will probably be my first one-night stand at college,” Kate continued. “Tomorrow, we will meet our parents and get settled into our dormitory!” “Do we need to go to the party? Maybe we could just take a walk around town and find our way to the dormitory?” “Rebecca Dawson, you’re starting to piss me off! We had a deal! You promised me you would go with me to this fucking party, and you will go with me. Even if I have to drag you there!” “Okay, Kitty Kate, I give up. No need for violence!” “Good girl, you know I love you. Besides, why do you need to walk around town? Home is only thirty minutes away. We have been here hundreds of times, and it’s a small town, nothing like the Big Apple, where you can be lost within a few minutes!” “You have a solid point, girl. How long until we get to our hotel? I need to use the bathroom badly.” “First you fell asleep, now you want to pee… Where is my best friend and what did you do to her, old lady?” “Shut up, Kate!” I lightly smacked her thigh, and she laughed. “Well, thanks to my driving skills, we’re here! Go check us in, and I will park your car.” I groaned but followed her orders. Later, Kate caught up with me as I strolled to the room we had just checked into. I took my time using the bathroom and then walked back into the room to find Kate already in her lacy red underwear, staring at two dresses on the bed. “You should go with the strapless pink dress. You look sexy in it.” I plopped myself down on my bed and looked at my friend. Her nose wrinkled with concern. “Do you really think so?” “Yeah, but you will need to choose a strapless bra.” “Consider it done.” Kate laughed, unclasped her bra straps, and put on the pink dress I suggested. She looked stunning and unbelievably sexy. Red curls enveloped her baby doll face, with its full lips and light green eyes. She already had makeup on, and it only made her look more beautiful, and also more mature. But I guessed that was her intention. We would be freshmen at the party, and she didn’t want that fact to stand out to everyone. “You look perfect, Kate. That dress hugs all your curves in all the right places, and your cleavage… God, I almost pity the boys at the party!” Kate spun in front of the mirror, looking at herself from all sides. She winked at her reflection and turned to me. “Yeah, I am dressed to impress and seduce one of the fraternity guys tonight! Are you sure that my round ass looks good in it?” She threw me a questioning look, and I nodded with a smile, which she returned. “Becca, I can’t believe that in three days we will start college! It’s like my dream come true! I am going to study with my best friend in the whole world, and we are both finally single!” She shut up almost immediately after spilling out those last words and looked at me for my reaction. I shrugged my shoulders; I didn’t want to think about my newly single life tonight. Kate noticed my movement and tried to ease the atmosphere. “The most important question now is, what are you planning to wear tonight?” I shrugged again because, truth be told, I didn’t care. I didn’t want to go to this party, and I would have been perfectly fine arriving here with my parents tomorrow. But Kate made me come, she drove us here and even chose this hotel for the night. I sighed. “I brought only one dress with me. This.” I dug in my travel bag and pulled out a white summer dress. It was a scalloped lace, A-line dress with three-quarter sleeves, and it contrasted with my tanned skin. I changed into it without hesitation and without waiting for Kate’s approval. I knew she wanted us to look sexy tonight, but I was going to look lovely. I put on blue flats and let my brown hair down, tossing it around a little. Since my hair was often braided, it had a slight curl at the ends now, just the way I loved it. “Please, tell me that at least you'll let me do your makeup?” “No, I'm good,” I answered. I applied colorless lip gloss to moisturize my lips and added green push-up mascara to my eyelashes. Kate and I both had green eyes, but mine were a darker shade. My mom had always told me that my eyes were almost emerald green. When she saw me for the first time as a baby, she thought my name should be Dorothy. Thanks to my grandmother who didn’t let her do that! I loved my name, my full name actually—Rebecca—but as most of my friends called me Becca, I got used to that. “Well, I must say. You look stunning, even in this boring dress.” I pouted my lips at Kate, and she laughed. “It’s a lovely dress, but I was hoping for something sexier, you know. But I guess, as long as this dress highlights your slim waist, big boobs, and long legs—I’m okay with it. Even if your round hips and tight ass will stay hidden from everyone.” “We always have your ass and hips on display anyway, right?” I winked at her and walked to the door. “Do you even know where this party is?” “You forgot that I had a spring fling with a member of the Kappa Alpha fraternity last year? Of course, I know,” Kate answered and walked next to me. She put her hand on my hip. “Ready?” “Always.” I smiled, and we sauntered out of our room.

Chapter 2

Kate and I walked down the street, and as we neared the college campus, I heard the sounds of the party. Loud music could be heard perfectly, even from a distance. “So, what’s our plan for tonight? Are we mingling or just having fun?” I asked. “How about both? I think most of the older students have already arrived... I hope to meet some guys from the football team. If we're lucky, Jones will be here. He’s gorgeous and hot! Even one look at him makes me wet, and I'm sure I'm not the only one!” “Who is Jones?” I arched my eyebrow at her questioningly. “Becca, I can’t believe it! Your ignorance is amazing!” Kate laughed and rolled her eyes at me. “Jones is the star of our college’s football team, and he’s the best quarterback the team has had in several years! I heard that after graduation, he could even be drafted to the NFL.” I flinched when I heard the word “quarterback.” The memories of Adam flooded my mind. He was my boyfriend for two years and also the quarterback on our high school football team. He was my first serious boyfriend; I gave him all of myself and I was sure that he was the one for me. How stupid was I? Very. He started cheating on me a short time after I had lost my virginity to him. Our relationship ended with my heart being broken when he dumped me one month before graduation. He told me that I just couldn’t satisfy him in bed, no matter how hard I tried. So he just chose what was best for him and dumped me for one of the meanest girls in our class. They had been fucking behind my back for several months before Adam finally decided to be honest with me. How generous of him! Fucking asshole! “Becca, are you still sulking because of dickhead Adam Farrell?” She must have noticed me flinching. “No, Kate. Honestly. You remember that everyone expected me to have a public breakdown, but I held my head high and didn’t show any of them how painful his betrayal was for me. That helped me to overcome my pain,” I explained. “It’s just strange. He was a big part of my life for two years, and I loved him. I thought that we were fine and our sex life was perfect… I was wrong about both. “Now I think that maybe I am frigid or not sexy enough… Ugh, I don’t know! Every time I hear the word ‘quarterback’…my mind goes blank, and ~I am not sexy enough ~flashes in my head like a neon light.” Kate appeared indignant. “Don’t you see yourself in the mirror? You’re stunning with your big emerald eyes! You have a perfect, curvaceous body. Your body is like a guitar! I even envy your boobs and long legs! And ass!” She linked our arms and tugged me closer to her. “I am beautiful. I know that. But what if I am not good in bed? What if Adam was right, and I can’t satisfy any man?” “Adam is a jerk, and he didn’t deserve a precious girlfriend like you! Believe me, Becca, I have a feeling that you will find your perfect guy here. I don’t know why, but you know my intuition. It’s always right!” “Here is to hoping.” I hugged my best friend and smiled at her. “So, I guess you want to get laid tonight? Maybe I could talk you out of it? Just drinking and dancing?” “Nah. I have been waiting for this party for too long. Becca, I know that there is no sex for you tonight, but at least, promise me you’ll try to have fun?” “Will do, Kitty Kate, will do.” I chuckled at her pouting lips as she marched us to the front door of the fraternity house, which was wide open. People were everywhere; they laughed and drank from their red cups. Kate and I had been at the party for almost forty minutes and we had already caught the attention of two guys. I wasn’t interested in either of them, but Kate found one of them attractive, so I shut my mouth and tried to be nice. One of them was Liam, and the other was Caiden, but I wasn’t sure who was who. As I said, I wasn’t interested. Kate dragged me to dance a little, and the guys followed us to the dance floor. Soon enough, Kate was locking lips with her admirer. I saw the other guy looking in my direction with a suggestive smirk, and I decided to go find the bathroom. After I wandered a little through the house, I finally found it. Thank goodness, it was empty. When I was on my way back to the living room where Kate was, I saw a room off to the right. The door was open, and the lights were dimmed. I heard laughter. I was curious, so I walked into the room and stopped, leaning my side on the doorframe. There were people all around, but what caught my attention was a group resting on two couches in the middle of the room. They were playing cards, drinking, and they didn’t give a damn about the people around them who were watching them play. I don’t know what made me stay here, maybe the atmosphere of the room or the guys playing cards. I stood with a red cup in my hand, taking each of the guys on the couch into my view. They were athletes, probably football players; they all looked muscular and huge. They were popular and loved by the girls. I could tell just by observing them. Some of the girls were sitting on the laps of the guys, some on the back of the sofa; a few girls lingered near the walls. Then, a guy with a short haircut, who was sitting with his back turned to me, shifted a little, and my eyes landed on the most gorgeous guy I had ever seen. He had been engaged in the game, with a concentrated look on his face, but at the same time, he had a radiant smile. The guy had a strong jawline with a little stubble, and his straight nose had a slight crook. As for his lips, they were deliciously full. And God, the guy had dimples that were so cute and so unbelievably sexy. He was relaxed, but still, his bulging biceps were on display, and I even caught sight of a tattoo on his right forearm. His muscular chest was visible through his tight white T-shirt, which hugged him perfectly and sent a wave of electricity through me as my eyes roamed over his body. His hair was dark brown, and it was cut short, but it was still a little messy. I didn’t have the slightest idea who he was, but I knew one thing: he was the leader of this group—a star. The other guys looked at him almost with admiration in their eyes. I had been staring at him for so long that he finally locked eyes with me. I lost myself in his eyes. They were almost black, with thick black eyelashes. I held his gaze like it was the most important thing for me to do tonight. He blinked. I won. But his gaze didn’t leave me. Instead, his eyes shifted down and roamed over my body, lingering a little on my chest and my long legs, before they were back to bore into my eyes again. I felt hot, like the air in the room became charged with heat. As we continued staring at each other, I felt another wave of heat, but this time between my legs. I felt my panties starting to become wet, my clit was aching with desire. I wanted this guy. Badly. I had never felt like this before. I knew nothing about him, but it didn’t matter. He could walk up to me and take me right here at this door, and I wouldn’t say a word in protest. Shit! What was going on, really? He just looked at me. What would happen if he decided to talk to me? I crossed my legs and shifted a little. I needed to take control of my stupid body. The guy saw my actions and smirked. He was aware of his effect on me. Asshole! A blonde guy sitting near him clapped him on the back, returning his attention to the game. I felt so weak in my knees that I didn’t even have the power to leave the room. So, I stayed. More people arrived in the room; some came, others went, and I just stood there, trying to wrap my brain around what had just happened. The guy didn’t look my way anymore, and honestly, I felt disappointed. He liked what he saw, I could tell by the way his eyes lingered on my body. So why didn’t he try to approach me? I didn’t understand anything right now. I was confused. Just then, I felt someone’s hands land on my waist, pulling my back against their chest. I had no idea what was going on, but I was scared. I felt the guy holding me start to grind against me with his arousal. I tried to wiggle out of his arms, but it was no use. He was too strong. I felt a hot breath on my neck and caught the scent of alcohol, and the fear inside me started to turn to anger. “Hey, hey, babe. It’s me, Liam. Why did you leave me all alone for so long? We were having a good time together, so I thought maybe you were lost, and I was right.” Who the hell was Liam?! Then, I realized that he was one of the two guys from the beginning of the party. But I didn’t want him! He was the reason why I had left the living room and stayed here in the first place. Anger started to take over me. I tried to push his hands off of me, but his grip only tightened. He held me firmly to the spot. I felt him becoming harder behind me, and my cheeks flushed. His one hand stayed on my stomach, another one cupped my breast and squeezed it hard. I flinched. He was groping and harassing me right here in a fully crowded room, and I couldn’t even manage to say a word! I closed my eyes to try to calm down and collect my strength to push this freak off of me. That was when I sensed someone’s presence in front of me. I heard a deep and low voice; it sounded demanding. “What’s your problem, Matthews? This girl doesn’t look like she’s enjoying your attention.” I opened my eyes and felt relief. It was the sexy guy I had been watching. He was taller than me, around six feet three inches, I would guess, with broad shoulders. His hands were folded over his chest, showing his well-defined biceps. He wasn’t relaxed now; he was tense, like a predator ready to strike. Despite all the stress, I felt the heat between my legs again. I couldn’t believe myself. This guy was making me hot and in need of release. I had been entranced by his eyes before, and now, I felt intimidated by his presence. This feeling was too new to me, and I didn’t understand it—the only thing I wanted right now was to run away from this party. Liam dropped his hands from my sides, only to pull me closer to his hips. I felt dizzy and nauseous. The need to run away was only intensifying with every second. “You’re wrong, dude. She’s just new in town and a little shy. Give me some time alone with her, and she will be begging for my attention.” “I don’t think so. Let her go, Matthews.” His voice was calm, but it carried power. Shivers ran down my spine. I took a moment and looked him over again. He was stunning, and he exuded masculinity and pure sex. Not to mention, there was a natural charm to him, with his damn dimples. I was attracted to him on an instinctual level; the feeling was so raw and uninhibited. I was now certain that he was a football player, every inch of his physique was screaming it. I pictured him without his T-shirt and swallowed, my breathing becoming ragged. I would have given anything in the world to have him there and then. My body acted on its own and arched toward him. It was as if I didn’t have any power over it. The desire was painful, and it overwhelmed me. I was going nuts. The atmosphere was intense, and I was fantasizing about this gorgeous man before my eyes. These feelings started to freak me out even more than the creep beside me. “Bro, what the fuck? That is no way to talk to your guest.” Finally, Liam let go of me and stared at the guy. But he wasn’t alone. Already, the blond guy and a guy in a baseball cap stood on both sides of him. Wow, talk about stunning guys. The blond guy looked quite different from the guy with the dimples, but he was dangerously gorgeous too. Looking at him, I just knew in an instant that he was trouble, that he would break a girl’s heart and move on, without even taking one look back at her. The face of the guy in the baseball cap was hidden as there wasn’t enough light in the room, but he wasn’t smaller than the other two. They must all have been over six feet three or four inches tall, and they all had hot and muscular bodies. This trinity looked impressive, and they were the real deal. “Exactly. This is our house. You do as we say or get the hell out of here,” said the guy with the dimples. “Whatever. She’s not worth it,” Liam spat and turned to leave. I sighed with relief and relaxed, leaning my side on the doorframe again. All three men were looking after him; everyone in the room was quiet. “Go after him. Make sure he’s out of here,” the guy with the dimples said to the guy in the cap. I didn’t even know their names, so I gave them nicknames. The blond looked me over with a seductive grin on his lips and a strange glint in his eyes. He returned to the couch while I brought my gaze to the dimpled one, who had been studying me this whole time. “Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, right?” I felt kindness in his words and smiled. He was a good guy, I just knew it. He cared. “Yeah, thank you.” He shrugged his shoulders to show me it wasn’t a big deal. But it was: his actions were a big deal to me. “I don’t remember seeing you before,” he said. “Well, he was right about one thing,” I replied, referring to Liam. “It is my first year here. Guess it’s not starting off so well for me.” “Don’t let one asshole ruin your first college party,” he smiled at me. Damn, with that smile and his dimples, he was even hotter. His gaze once again imprisoned me. I wanted him to kiss me, to devour me with his luscious lips. I imagined his big hands cupping my ass and his tongue on my breasts. We stared silently at each other for what felt like a few minutes. I saw that his eyes weren’t black as I thought they were before; they were brown with hints of gold. And what I saw in them gave me goosebumps. The guy wanted me. His desire was almost equal to mine. As I realized this, heat spread through my whole body. I was ready to tell him “yes” as soon as he would ask me, but then I heard a voice. The blond was calling him back to the game. The moment was ruined. “Logan, are you planning to stand there all night? We were in the middle of something, or did you forget already?” Okay, at least I know his name. It’s Logan. “Prepare to get your ass kicked, Drew, because I will win. Again.” The blond was Drew, noted. Logan had answered without even looking back at him. Then, Logan nodded at me, and the next moment, I was all alone at the door frame. I stayed. I waited for him to invite me to the couch, but he didn’t. I hoped he would look at me again, but he didn’t. It was as if I didn’t even exist anymore. ~I am nothing to him.~ The words echoed in my mind as I rushed to leave the party. When I reached the street, tears streamed down my face. Fucking Adam made me question myself, made me feel vulnerable in front of men. Even though I was beautiful and had worked hard on my body, it wasn’t enough. I knew I saw desire in Logan’s eyes, but it didn’t matter.

Chapter 3

When I returned to the hotel, my eyes were dry and sore. I had a feeling that there were no tears left. I hopped into the shower to wash away the memories of the night. I let the water envelop me as I tried to relax. When I finally lay down on my bed and closed my eyes, the image of Logan was back. Every detail of him was carved in my mind. I felt arousal building inside me again. It was intense and I needed to let it go, but I refused to do that. I returned to the shower and stood under the cold water. In the aftermath, I fell asleep almost immediately. I was thankful that I had set the alarm clock. It was morning and now, I had time to wash my face and put on some light makeup to cover my tiredness. I even had a small snack. I wore my skinny blue jeans, a tight white T-shirt, and my black sneakers. I looked simple and yet sexy because all of my curves were highlighted. I was going to meet my parents, so I put my hair in a high ponytail. That would do. As I was about to leave the room to buy myself a coffee, the door swung wide open. Kate rushed in, her hair messy. Yesterday’s makeup was still on her face. I gave her a look. She only frowned and dashed into the bathroom. Ten minutes later, she stood before me wrapped in a towel while I nestled in my bed with a coffee in my hand. Her latte sat on the bedside table. I was beginning to feel impatient. I wanted to leave this room as soon as I could. I was eager to forget about last night. There was no way that Logan wanted something more with me. He was just protecting his territory. ~The fucking knight in shining armor. I'm sure he's like that with everyone—end of story.~ I had convinced myself that I saw some desire in his eyes when the room was too dim for that. I even thought his eyes were black in color. Yep, I was pathetic, and this room was a reminder of my misery. “Becca, are you even listening to me?” I looked at Kate. She was fully dressed now and stood in front of me with her hands on her hips. “Yeah, sorry. I dozed off a little. Are you ready to go?” “That's exactly what I've been saying. Come on. Our parents will be at the dormitory in twenty minutes with our belongings.” We grabbed our travel bags, checked out of the hotel, and went to my car. In five minutes, I parked it in the parking lot of our dormitory. My emotions were running high. I would be living in this place for the next four years. It felt unreal, like a dream. Soon enough, our parents stopped their car near the building. I was honestly glad to see Mom and Dad; they were always so supportive of me. I loved them with all my heart. My mom went with Kate and me to meet the dormitory’s advisor. We learned that Kate and I wouldn’t be sharing a room, though we would still be in the same building and would see each other. Kate tried to throw a tantrum, demanding the advisor to change our rooms, but it was to no avail. I helped her calm down, and after that, we tried to settle in. My roommate wasn’t here yet, so Mom and Dad helped me arrange my things in my half of the room. I was already starting to feel more relaxed. I only hoped that my future roommate and I would get along. After moving in, we all met up with Kate’s family and went out for lunch, which was full of talk and laughter. It was a good thing that Kate’s parents and mine were friends. They had bought houses almost at the same time, and soon after, our mothers had both gotten pregnant, so technically Kate and I had known each other since we’d been in our mothers’ wombs. It was fate. After saying goodbye to our parents, Kate and I walked back to our dorm. I could tell just by glancing at her that she was ready to burst with excitement. So, I gave her a look that asked her to spill it already. “Oh my God, Becca. You have no idea where my night ended.” “I am all ears, Kate.” “You know that I know when you’re being sarcastic? Whatever, bestie. I still want to tell you everything. So... Things between Caiden and I were getting pretty intense, we were ready to find a room when his friend Liam showed up. “He was furious! He gave me a dirty look, as if I was the reason for him to be that mad. Jerk! He said something to Caiden, and they both left. Stormed out of the door without even one word to me. Can you imagine how frustrated I was?” “Yeah. The guy left you all horny in the middle of the party. So, why didn’t you come back to the hotel?” “Well, that’s because I found a substitute. It was Tim Wallace!” I arched my eyebrow in puzzlement. “Seriously, Becca? Okay, he’s from our football team. He walked up to me and stood near me, watching as my date left the house. Well, I will spare you some of the details, but he took me to one of the rooms in the house where his friends from the team were playing cards. “They were all there. Even Logan Jones and Drew Milton. I almost peed my pants because of the double hotness! I’d never seen them so close before, so I was kind of dumbstruck!” “You said Logan Jones? Is he the star quarterback? You were talking about him yesterday, right?” ~Please, say no.~ I almost pleaded with her out loud. But I already knew, Logan from the party and Logan Jones were the same person. Just my luck, I guess. “Oh, so you were listening. Good to know that sometimes you manage to pay attention. Yeah, the one and only. I was sitting on Tim’s lap, and Logan sat right in front of us, so I took my chances and observed him ~a little~. Becca, he’s stunning! He’s a real catch. “Yeah, we had football players in our school, but they were boys. He’s a man in every possible way. Jones is a leader among his fraternity brothers and the soul of the team. It’s a pity that he’s already taken. While Milton, on the other hand…” “Taken?” I asked, interrupting her. I had assumed as he was alone yesterday, that he was single. Kate’s revelation dashed any remaining hopes I had of Logan taking a fancy to me. “Ha! Do you think that a guy like him would be single? He has been dating his girlfriend since freshman year. Her name is Melanie, and she’s beautiful! Like a Barbie-doll.” “Oh, I get it now. Enough about this Logan and other shit. Where did you spend the night?” “With Tim. He was nice and suggested that I stay in his room. I agreed, and well, one thing led to another. We had sex. Obviously. A lot of sex. I couldn’t even move when I woke up today.” “Okay! No need for those details. Are you planning to see him again?” “I don’t know. It was good while it lasted, but I’m not sure…” While talking, we reached our floor in the dormitory. Kate’s room was closer than mine. I walked her to it and smiled. “Are you ready to meet your new roommate?” I asked. “Hardly. I am still disappointed they didn’t let us room together. So, I hope, at least, that she will be a normal girl, not a freak.” “I am sure she won’t be a freak. Go, I will see you later.” I laughed at her exasperated look and walked to my room. Before I could open the door, it swung wide open—and so did my eyes. There, in my room, right before me, stood Logan Jones in all his glory. Today, he was wearing a black T-shirt that was tight on his chest but loose at his waist. His jeans sat low on his hips and, with his right forearm resting high up on the door, I caught a glimpse of his sculpted abs. My mind went blank again, and I started to feel the heat between my legs. God, not again!

Chapter 4

I stood by the entrance to my room, my eyes locked on the beautiful browns of Logan Jones’s eyes. He was holding me captive with his stare, again. Neither of us was ready to look away. He let his eyes travel all over my body, again. As his lips stretched into a smile, I realized that he liked what he saw. Besides the heat between my legs, I felt my cheeks blushing. Then, I heard a girl’s voice and snapped back from our gaze competition. “Logan, move! There are still some boxes left.” “Your roommate has arrived,” Logan said without even looking away from me. I honestly didn’t understand this guy. “Where?” I heard her squeak. Soon enough, Logan moved away, and now I was looking at his female version. The girl was tall but thin at the same time. I could easily see his features on her face, especially her straight nose and her brown eyes; hers were bigger, but also rimmed with long and dark eyelashes. The girl was pretty and cute, in a girl-next-door kind of way. One look at her was enough for me to know that we would become friends. “Hi! I’m Lily. The oaf here is my big brother, Logan. I saw that you already moved in, so I was just kind of super excited to meet you. Oh my God, I already envy your hair. What do you do with it?” She extended her hand to me and smiled warmly. Yep, this girl was just like me. “Lily, give her a break! Or, I am afraid she will run away from you in the next few days!” Logan laughed. And I finally managed to snap myself away from my naughty thoughts. ~Almost~ managed. His presence nearby wasn’t doing me any good. “Hey, I’m Becca, well, Rebecca, but you know how it is. And…I will be glad to tell you anything about my hair and my hair care products.” “Deal! Logan, seriously, move! I want to move-in by the end of the evening, not the end of the night! Besides, you told me that there would be another party at your fraternity house and that I can come. I need time to primp myself up, and there is no doubt that Becca will come with me.” Logan laughed some more, shook his head, and headed to the stairs. When he returned with two large boxes in his arms, I was already sitting on the bed with my legs stretched out. I had hit it off with Lily almost immediately, and now, we were joking and laughing, discussing what our first day in college would be like. Each of our ideas that came next got crazier. Logan put the boxes near his sister, while she got busy taking care of her stuff. He plopped himself down on her bed, leaning on his elbows. The hem of his T-shirt shifted higher, and I swallowed because now I had a better view of his abs, though they were still mostly hidden under his jeans. Was he doing it on purpose? I honestly had no idea. But I enjoyed every second of this moment. As my eyes traveled up from his body to his face, I realized he was doing the same to me. Logan Jones was observing me, and when our eyes met, he didn’t look away; neither did I. Finally, he spoke. “I see, you two already have a connection? You seem like you've known each other for a long time.” “It’s girl stuff, brother. You wouldn’t understand it.” “Don’t mind me then.” I honestly thought that he would leave, or at least stop staring at me, but nope. He even started to take part in our conversation. Logan Jones wasn’t just a sexy hunk and quarterback with a gorgeous face and hot body. He was kind, witty, and smart. I was surprised. My ex-boyfriend wasn’t any of those things. Adam was a hotshot, and that’s all there was to him. Logan, on the other hand, was so much more than just his image. I felt good with these siblings, but at the same time, I felt uneasy. I started liking Logan, the real Logan, who told jokes to his sister and me, and commented on our banter with sassy remarks. It was one thing that I felt attracted to him because of his looks, but liking his personality brought my attraction to another level. A wave of sadness rushed over me. I didn’t have a chance with him. He wasn’t single. “Oh, it’s already 6 p.m.! What time does the party start?” Lily asked as she finally finished unpacking. Her words brought me back to reality. “At nine. Why?” Logan said. “What do you mean, ‘why’? You said I could come, so I am coming. And so is Becca.” Logan looked at her with an unreadable expression, and then his brown eyes bore into mine. Again, ~stupid~ desire rose up in me. Fuck, I had a problem, and it was huge. He was huge, like the man in front of me now. Could I pull myself together in his presence, while he was looking at me like that? “Yeah, I will go. See you at the party then,” I managed. He stood up and, in a minute, he was gone. I didn’t even realize that I was staring at the closed door until I heard a groan. I turned my head and looked at Lily, slowly coming back to my senses. “Please, tell me you don’t have a crush on my brother.” “What? No! He’s just…” “Hot? Intimidating? What is he ‘just,’ Becca?” Her tone wasn’t angry. It was more like sad. It sounded like she was pitying me, and I didn’t like the feeling. “Yeah, these words… But no, I don’t have a crush on him.” “I hope so. Listen, Becca… All of my friends have had a crush on Logan before, but he’d never dated any of them. He was never interested in any of the girls our age. At the end of high school, he even dated a twenty-one-year-old girl from our town. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up... You’re a beautiful girl, and I am sure you will find yourself a guy in no time. It just won’t be my brother.” I was silent. Her words hurt me. When I came here, I wanted to concentrate on my studies. I wasn’t planning to date anyone. I had prepared myself to be alone for the first year. I felt upset and stupid because of Lily’s words about my chances with Logan being zero. “Becca, don’t take it personally. I didn’t mean it like that... Besides all that, he has a girlfriend—a bitchy girlfriend, a jealous girlfriend, even. But he likes Mel. When they are together, he looks like he can’t get enough of her... “Last time they came home, my parents asked them to move to a hotel. Do you understand how wild and loud they were? He won’t break up with her. “Please, I am just telling you this so that you can protect yourself around him. I don’t want any awkwardness between my roomie and my brother, because he will be around. Logan and I are close.” “Thank you, Lily, for your honesty and being the voice of common sense.” I smiled at her, but inside, I felt anxiety. I guessed my first days or even months in college would be challenging. If Logan really would be around—and it looks like he would be—that meant more sexual frustration for me. But if he would only stop looking at me like he did today, maybe I would survive... Somehow, I was very doubtful that he would stop. The way he was observing me gave me the impression that he was drawn to me, just like I was to him, and that he didn’t understand this feeling any more than I did, either. “So, what are you planning to wear?” Lily asked, changing the topic. “God, you sound like my best friend. Actually... maybe we could go and meet up with her?” “Is your best friend here?” “Yeah, we got here yesterday, and now she is supposedly settling in her room.” “Okay. Will she want to go with us to the party?” “She will never forgive me if we went without her.” We laughed and went to Kate’s room. She opened her door with a frown on her face, looked at my smiling face, then at Lily’s, and then she sighed. “I guess you are lucky enough to have this cute girl as your roommate.” “Yes, Kate, this is Lily Jones. Lily, this is my best friend, Kate Pierce. She sometimes overreacts, as you might see. What happened?” “Well, my roommate is a total nerd, and she even…” Kate trailed off and stared at Lily, her eyes widening a fraction. “Wait, did you say her last name is Jones? Oh my God, you’ve got to be kidding me! You’re Logan Jones’s sister, aren’t you?” “Yeah, guilty.” Lily laughed. She was used to this kind of reaction. “We wanted to ask you if you would want to go with us to a fraternity party tonight?” “Will there be another one?” We nodded in unison. Kate clasped her hands together. “Abso-fucking-lutely! When are we going? I need time to prepare myself!” “In two hours, will you manage?” “Of course. Meet me here then.” Kate was smiling like an idiot when she closed her door. After we returned to our room, we started getting ready, while chatting about anything and everything. Lily and I liked the same movies, the same books—we even confessed to each other about having a crush on Tom Hardy. But could you blame us for that? In the end, Lily wore a cute denim dress. She was skinny with small boobs, and this dress added some shape to her figure. Her brown hair was in a bun, which only highlighted her big, beautiful eyes and high cheekbones. She looked lovely. I didn't want to go, but I was sure that if I told either Kate or Lily, they would drag me to the fraternity house. So I chose jean shorts because they fit my ass perfectly and changed the T-shirt for the red, off-shoulder crop top. This crop top showed cleavage, and I looked edgy in it. I was debating between sneakers and sandals, and eventually picked the second option. At 9 p.m., we left our dormitory for the fraternity house. Kate wore a black summer dress. Her appearance was so simple, I even gave her a questioning look. “I have a theory that I will see Tim tonight. I just want to be sure that he likes me even when I am plain. If he doesn't notice me, it's going to be his loss.” “How do you know Tim? Tim Wallace, right?” Lily looked curiously at Kate. “Well, I slept with him yesterday at the party.” “You were at the fraternity party?!” “Yeah, Becca was here too. Come to think about it, she never told me about her evening. Spill it.” What could I say? “I was wandering around the house, then hung out in one of the rooms and left for our hotel.” “You promised me to have fun! And that”—she pointed her finger at me—“that is pathetic!” “No. I had my fun. And I won’t discuss it with you anymore.” Kate only shook her head in disapproval and kept quiet for a time. Lily was the one who broke our silence. She was too excited to remain mute. It would be her first fraternity party, and she was extremely happy about it and the fact that she would see her brother and his friends. At that point, I just hoped that I would manage to stay there for at least a few hours. More importantly, I would give anything to avoid seeing Logan. Unfortunately, a girl could only hope.

Chapter 5

As I entered the house, which was loud and full of people, Lily caught my wrist in a tight grip and dragged me with her. She was searching for her brother. Kate was looking for Tim, so she also followed us. She even pointed us in the direction of the room where I saw Logan yesterday. ~Good Lord, please help me.~ We entered the room, and I felt a lump form in my throat. The same people as last night were sitting on the couches; it looked like they’d just started playing. My eyes were glued to one particular man, but this time he wasn’t alone. He was making out with a girl with long black hair. I couldn’t see her face; their embrace was so passionate, but I saw her body, and damn, she was hot. Slim waist, big boobs, and long legs. She was wearing a floral bustier dress and stiletto heels, which were visible as one of her legs was resting on Logan’s thigh; his hand was stroking her leg in circles. Kate had chosen the exact word in describing her. Logan’s girl looked like a real-life Barbie from Mattel. I wanted to vomit. I needed a drink, a strong one. I wanted to forget this feeling of need, which I felt whenever I was close to him. I was planning to go and find the kitchen at the first opportunity. I needed space and time to think. Lily finally freed my arm and rushed to Logan. I could tell just by looking at her body language that she didn’t like her brother’s girlfriend. She sat on the back of the couch and clapped on Logan’s back. I saw as he tensed up and then turned to look at her. His girlfriend’s face was still hidden from me, as she was facing Lily now. Kate stood near me, scanning the room for Tim’s presence, but as he wasn’t here, she folded her arms over her chest and looked at the Jones siblings. “Look, Becca, that is Melanie Barnes with Logan Jones,” Kate whispered in my ear. “I must admit that they look perfect together, but still, I envy that bitch! Why does he need to be so in love with her? It’s not fair!” I nodded mutely. The lump in my throat wasn’t going anywhere. I really needed a drink; I would give it five more minutes. Five more minutes, and I’d be out of this room. “Becca, Kate, over here!” Lily’s cheerful voice rang in my ears. No! I didn’t want to be near the couple or in this room. But Kate was already tugging me after her. She plopped herself down on the couch near Lily, who was already sitting near her brother. Now I could see Logan’s girlfriend. Just as I feared, she was stunning. High cheekbones and full, sensual lips gave her a look like Angelina Jolie, but her eyes were deep blue and a little narrow. Why did she need to be this gorgeous? I needed a drink. As I continued to stand there, all of the people on two couches were looking at me. Hell! Even the people in the room were looking at me. “Becca?” Lily looked confused. I smiled at her, and then my eyes shifted to her brother. Logan was looking at me too, but this time I didn’t see anything more in his eyes. There wasn’t longing, connection, or even interest. His look was blank, and it hurt me much more than anything. He shifted his arm on his girlfriend’s leg and continued to caress her. ~Thanks for the cold shoulder, buddy.~ “I guess I need booze. Where can I find something that isn’t disgusting? Kitchen?” I looked away from Logan and locked eyes with another guy on the couch opposite Logan's—the blond guy from yesterday. If I remembered correctly what Kate had told me that morning, his name was Drew Milton. He had a redheaded chick next to him, and she scowled at me. ~Girl, I am not interested in him, no matter how good-looking he is.~ Drew smiled and gestured for me to turn right in the hallway, presumably to get to the kitchen. I nodded and left the room. As I stepped outside, I heard Lily and Kate's voices. I wouldn't be coming back to this room. I found the booze and made myself a cocktail with lime, rum, and coke. I was already on my third cup when I felt the need to go dance, so I danced. I even sang one of Beyoncé's songs with the other girls. Well, mostly we were shouting, but it was fun. I didn't know their names, and they didn't know mine, but we had fun, and nothing else mattered. No one was looking for me, and honestly, I didn't give a damn about that as soon as I started drinking. I was sure they were having fun together, maybe Logan had already left with his precious girlfriend and was banging her now. Fuck! I went to grab another cup. I downed the cocktail within ten seconds, and I started to feel tipsy. I saw guys looking in my direction. One tall guy with an LA Lakers cap approached me. I danced with him, let him touch me, and even kiss me. It was good until his hands reached under my crop top. I brushed him off. Later that night, another guy with sleek blond hair started dancing near me. Soon enough, he placed his hands on my hips. We danced a little together; he was well-built with broad shoulders. He had a cute smile and kind eyes, so I guess that was the reason why I kissed him. This time it was me who placed my hands under his T-shirt. He was good with it, he responded to my touch, deepening our kiss. But strangely, this felt wrong. I stepped back from him, shook my head, and walked away. His smile was sad, but he let me do that. After another thirty minutes, I felt that I needed to find the bathroom. I was on my sixth cocktail already. I felt so light and so free at the same time. The door to the bathroom on the first floor was closed, so I went to the second floor and stumbled to the far end of the hallway. I didn’t even know where to go and still, I found a bathroom on the first try. As I stepped inside, I closed the door behind me and leaned my back on it. What was I doing? I was drunk. I didn’t know at that point if I would be able to find the dormitory in my condition. Why was I so stupid? When I finished, I placed my hands on the sink and examined my reflection. My eyes were tired, my lips were swollen from the kisses, and my ponytail was in disarray. I loosened it, and now my hair cascaded over my bare shoulders. I needed to find my way back home. I splashed some cold water on my flushed cheeks and walked out the door. I returned to the stairs, and as I passed a door near the bathroom, I noticed it was slightly open. My throat went dry in seconds. Logan stood in the doorway with a bare chest, wearing only sweatpants that hung low on his hips. He was in impressive shape with his broad shoulders, and the sharp lines of his abdomen formed a perfect V. Now I had a chance to observe a tattoo on his forearm—it was a tiger roaring in the flame, and I was mesmerized by it. My eyes drifted to his face, and as I reached the level of his neck, I noticed fresh hickeys. My mind snapped out of my thoughts in an instant. I observed him more carefully. All the signs were there; his chest was covered in sweat, and he was barefoot. I was perfectly aware that he had just had sex, mere minutes ago. I glanced over his shoulder as much as I could manage and caught sight of a girl's naked ass on the bed amidst the disheveled blankets. I jerked away and tried to rush to the stairs as fast as I could. But I couldn’t make it even two steps in that direction when I heard the door close behind me and felt Logan’s arm grab me by my forearm. He forcefully dragged me with him, and I found myself back in the bathroom. Once we were inside, I heard the sound of the door lock. I stood in front of the shower cabin, while Logan stood before the locked door with his arms folded over his chest. What was I doing here? I had no idea, but I was scared of him. I wasn’t thinking straight because of the alcohol. Suddenly, I felt cold, so I hugged myself with my arms and rubbed them up and down, trying to find warmth. “My sister and your friend were worried about you.” His voice was a little husky. “Why? I was having fun, just like they told me to do on our way here.” “Yeah, fun… Like making out with two different guys. Do you consider that ‘fun’?” “Well, it’s not your business, as far as I'm concerned! I could have sex with both of them, maybe even at the same time… Hmm?” “Maybe I really should go have a threesome? You know, my dry spell has lasted awfully long already. So maybe that would make me feel good finally…” Fucking hell! Why did I need to mention my lack of sex? ~Rebecca, you need to pull yourself together!~ Guess the cocktails were really having an effect. In two strides, Logan stood right before me with his hands clenched in fists. I backed away from him, and now my bare back was pressed to the cold glass of the shower. Why was he so angry with me? This was only the third time he had seen me in his life. Why did he even care? And what was worse was that he’d just had sex with his gorgeous girlfriend, who was still in his bed! Why was he wasting his time on me? “Really, Rebecca? Maybe I shouldn’t have bothered to kick Matthews out yesterday. Maybe I should have let him have his way with you?” “Maybe, Logan. I don’t know! I honestly don’t know! It has been only two days! Two days since I came here to study, and my life is already a mess!” “You didn’t mean that... The guy might have raped you. The way he was touching and groping you gave me a full understanding of the situation.” I decided to step in to help you, even if it was the first time in my life I saw you. And now you’re telling me that I should have let him…” Logan trailed off, and I saw the disgust on his face. I sighed and pressed my palms to my face, covering it. Then I let them fall to my sides. “I don’t know what you want to hear from me. I am tired. I want to go back to the dorm. Let me go, please.” I whispered the last sentence. The alcohol was starting to overcome me, especially with the roller coaster of emotions I had been dealing with for the last two days because of this guy standing before me. “No,” Logan answered me with a whisper. I couldn’t wrap my mind around what was going on. My heart started to beat faster as he stepped closer to me. What was he doing? I didn’t expect any of this. His hands landed on my waist and then slid down to my hips. He pulled me to him, keeping me close. We gazed into each other’s eyes. I knew this guy for what? Two days? Still, it was as if he wasn’t a stranger to me. I had been attracted to Logan since the moment my eyes landed on him. For me, that had never happened before. I had crushes in school, but I needed to know the person to want to be close to him. With Logan, everything was very different. “Holy fuck, Rebecca…” Logan groaned, looking at me. I was pressed against him, and my hands moved up to his neck on instinct while he kept his hands on my hips. He hesitated. I saw it. I didn’t move; I waited, and before I knew it, his lips were on mine. I felt weak from his kiss immediately, almost stumbling backward. He didn’t release me, he only tightened his grip on my hips. Our tongues danced together in a slow but painfully arousing motion. I didn’t feel cold, even though my bare shoulders were pressed to the cold glass of the shower cabin; I felt incredibly hot. His lips moved from my mouth to my jaw, then to my throat. He sucked on my neck hard, and I was sure that there would be a hickey, but I didn’t care about it at all. One of his hands stayed on my hip, while with the other, he yanked my crop-top down. I stood before him wearing only my push-up bra, as my top hung from my waist. With one finger, he traced the lines of my cleavage. I shivered. I didn’t have any idea what would happen next, but I wanted him to touch me, so I arched my back to him. He only needed that—a sign of encouragement. One of his hands returned to my breasts and dragged down my bra. As soon as he saw my breasts with hardened nipples, his eyes darkened with desire. He groaned and leaned forward, placing wet kisses on my neck. He bit and licked my throat, teasing me with his tongue and teeth. I wanted him badly, my clit almost ached from desire. I knew he wanted me too. I felt his hard cock press against my thigh, and still, he didn’t try to undress me further. He was all over me, kissing and nibbling my breasts and neck. My hands roamed over his shoulders to his torso. He moved up from my nipples to my lips. We kissed passionately, leaving me short of breath, but it didn’t matter. He wrapped his hand around my knee and lifted it, pressing his hip closer to me. The bulge in his pants was huge, and I felt him trembling. I started moving, grinding against it. Logan growled from the friction, and his kisses immediately became more insistent. We were so caught up in the moment that we didn’t realize how much time had passed since he had dragged me to the bathroom. Reality came crashing down suddenly when we heard a knock on the door. We both froze. I hadn’t heard her voice before, but from Logan’s reaction and her words, I instantly realized who was behind this door. “Logan, are you in here? Is everything okay? Logan?” Logan looked at me, and I saw the horror in his eyes. He released his grip on my knee and stepped back immediately. He was looking at me pleadingly. My breathing was still erratic, but my arms and legs had started trembling, and it was because I saw the emotions in his brown eyes. He was afraid I would say something. I shook my head and walked to the other side of the shower cabin, where I couldn’t be seen from the door. He looked in my direction for a moment, then smoothed out his sweatpants and went to the door. I stood in the dark, waiting for him to take his girlfriend back to the bed. He unlocked the door and stepped outside the bathroom. Melanie stood still with messy hair and wrapped in the blanket around her naked body. “Logan, what took you so long? You told me you needed to use the bathroom. That was almost thirty minutes ago! I even fell asleep and woke up just because you weren’t there!” She sounded annoyed that he had left her alone. Tears were blurring my vision now. I tried to collect myself. As soon as they were in his room, I would run away from this house. I heard the sound of the closing door and sighed, shutting my eyes. Right now, I know only one thing: this is my last party at the fraternity house and the last party I will go to if there is a possibility that Logan Jones will be there. I will try to make sure I do not see him anymore. If Melanie hadn’t shown up, I would have had sex with Logan. I feel dirty upon that realization. When I sneak up to my room in the dormitory, I hear quiet snoring. Lily is already sleeping in her bed. I look at my bed and see Kate there. She is also sleeping. Guess, I will sleep with her. I slide under my blanket and hug her from behind. With half-closed eyes, Kate turns slightly toward me. “Where were you? Why didn’t you answer your damn phone, Rebecca?” Hearing my full name again brings back memories of Logan. Too soon. Fucking hell! I sigh and kiss the hollow of Kate’s neck. I don’t want my tears to spill again. “Let’s talk about it in the morning? Please?” “Fine.” Kate wriggled and turned to face me. She opened her eyes and looked at me. I didn't know what she saw, but she gave me a peck on my lips and snuggled closer to me. We fell asleep tangled up on my bed. I didn't feel much by then, and my mind was mostly blank. I drifted into a deep slumber. The only reminder of Logan and me in the bathroom was my dully-aching heart. I think I was starting to get used to that.

Chapter 6

I woke up with a massive headache in the morning. The cocktails hadn’t gone unnoticed by my body. Although I was awake, I stayed still in my bed for several minutes, reflecting on yesterday’s events. What Logan and I almost did was a mistake. If anyone found out about it, I would be in big trouble. So, first things first, I needed to keep my distance from Logan Jones and his fraternity house. Sadness filled my heart. Why did he do this? Lily told me that he wouldn’t cheat on his girlfriend and that he never liked girls our age, but still… He proved the opposite yesterday. Logan and Mel had sex, then he left his room and came straight to me. Maybe he was worried that I would be a bad influence on his sister, based on the way I acted at the party, so he only wanted to talk to me. Could that be it? Then why did he kiss me? Ugh, I feel so stupid! So many questions and I didn’t have the answer to any of them. I wouldn’t ignore him, but I will do my best not to run into him around campus. It would be better this way. I hadn’t slept with anyone after Adam dumped me. Maybe that was why I had wanted so badly to have sex with Logan. Now I only felt anger. He was an asshole! He cheated on his girlfriend with me... Realization of this fact hit me hard, and I lay in my bed with my eyes wide open. How did I let this happen? I'd been cheated on before, and I knew how painful it was to find out that your boyfriend was unfaithful to you. Now I was that girl with whom the guy cheated on his girlfriend. Anger overtook me. I was ready to go back to the fraternity house and give him a piece of my mind. “Hey, Becca. When did you come back last night?” Lily looked at me from her bed. She was sitting there with a book on her lap. It looked like she was waiting for me to wake up. I blinked and looked at Kate's arm on my belly; she was still asleep. “Hey. I honestly don't know. Both of you were already asleep.” “Could you please stop talking? I was trying to sleep a little longer!” Kate groaned but rolled over and sat up in my bed. “When you are ready, could we go get breakfast? I am pretty hungry already,” Lily said. “Give me fifteen minutes to have a shower and get dressed, and I will be ready to go. I desperately need pancakes and coffee,” I said and jumped up from the bed. “Well, I need more than fifteen minutes. Maybe twenty-five?” Kate also got up from the bed and was now stretching beside me. “Okay, how about twenty? I was up earlier than you, and I am starving now.” Lily smiled at us. Kate and I nodded and left the room. In thirty minutes, we sat at William’s Diner near the college, waiting for our orders to come. I massaged my temples, my hair braided in two Danish pigtails. “So… not to bring up the elephant in the room, but Becca, what happened yesterday? Where did you go? You told us that you would go for a drink, and it was the last time we saw you at all,” Lily said. “Listen…,” I began. “You wanted to spend time with your brother and his friends. And you,” I said, turning to Kate, “wanted to see Tim, who happened to be a friend of Lily’s brother. I just… I felt like the third wheel, and I decided to have fun on my own. “After a few drinks, I started dancing. I kissed two boys but then pushed them away. When I felt that I had enough, I walked home and found both of you already sleeping.” “But,” Lily said, confused, “Logan was nice to you when he was helping me settle in yesterday. He even asked us where you went for so long, twice actually.” “He left the room for drinks, and when he came back, he said that he saw you and you were okay, but said you disappeared from his view when he was on his way back. My brother is a good person, and he cares about my friends. I just don’t get it, honestly…” ~Yeah, fuck my ass. He cares, does he? Bullshit!~ “Come to think about it, Lily, Drew said some weird stuff yesterday,” Kate interjected. After your brother asked us the second time where Becca went, and he came back with drinks, telling us that he saw her. Do you remember?” “Yeah… Drew said that Logan was unusually interested in what Becca was doing,” Lily said. “He mentioned some Matthews guy, but Logan shut him up. What was that, Becca? Do you know what they were talking about?” “No idea.” I wasn't going to spill my guts to them. “Ha, the funniest thing was the reaction of your brother’s girlfriend! She didn’t like what she heard about Becca.” “Totally! But she dragged him out of the room soon enough. I am sure she wanted to prove to us that she’s the one for him. Like we needed a reminder… The way they were kissing and touching… ewww. “Maybe if we weren’t there, he might have slept with her right in that room. My brother is such a moron.” “I need to use the bathroom.” I got up and rushed away from our table. I ran into the bathroom stall just in time as my stomach emptied itself of its contents. After a few minutes, my stomach was empty, and I was left with a sore throat. Our conversation just now had confirmed my worst thoughts. Logan had slept with his girlfriend before—AND after—he kissed and caressed me in the bathroom. I felt not only sad and angry. I felt stupid, numb, and empty. How did I let that happen? What the fuck is wrong with me? I washed my face and stood there, looking at myself in the mirror. I needed this moment to calm my nerves. Why did I act like that in Logan’s presence? Why did he do that to me? Fuck! I hated him for giving me these confusing thoughts! But I decided right here, I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing his power over me. What I felt for him from the first second our eyes met was an inexplicable desire and need to be near him. I’d never felt like that before. And I was furious at him only because of that. I think the best option for me was 'out of sight and out of mind.' Because even now, I didn’t know for sure what I wanted more. For him to kiss and sleep with me, or for me to slap his face and run away. I stepped out of the bathroom and had only taken a few steps in the direction of our table when I stopped in my tracks. Logan, Melanie, Drew, and the redheaded girl from yesterday stood beside our table. Lily and Kate were chatting with them. My first thought was to run away from here. Like I was scared. But the grumble of my belly reminded me that I needed to eat. Fuck! I guess it was time for me to put on my big-girl pants and face my problems with my head held high. I walked to the table and sat beside Kate this time since she was nearer. “Hey, is everything okay? You rushed to the bathroom at a crazy speed,” Kate whispered in my ear. I nodded. “Are you always that rude?” I heard the male mocking voice and realized that the question was addressed to me. “Only when I want to be. Why?” I turned and looked at Drew. He was enjoying my discomfort—another stunning asshole. “Well, at least you could say ‘hey.’ It’s just a question of your manners.” His grin was wide, and his eyes roamed over my body like I was a snack. I smirked back at him. Yeah, he’s gorgeous, but no, thank you. Never. “Drew, some girls just don’t have it in them. They need to be educated, but as we see now, even then, it’s not enough,” Melanie's words were like venom. What the fuck? I had never even talked to her before! Shit, she just saw me for the second time in her life! “Do you have a problem with me?” I looked her right in the eyes. “Nope. I don’t deal with girls like you. You aren't worth my time, or the time of my friends,” she spat, and turned to look at her boyfriend. Logan stood there with his hand on her shoulders. He hadn’t said a word in my defense. His bitch was insulting me, and he was silent. ~Message received, very clear.~ “Honey, you wanted to say hi to your sister. We did it. I want to eat my breakfast in a relaxed atmosphere. I need energy after our passionate night. I guess you did miss me.” Melanie traced her finger over his chest. For the second time this morning, I felt the need to vomit. “Of course. Let’s go. I will see you tomorrow, Lily. Bye,” Logan answered, his expression inscrutable. They started to walk away from our table. “Do you really think that it’s okay for her to talk to my friend like that?” Lily’s voice was full of anger. She looked at her brother with furrowed eyebrows.

Chapter 7

Logan stopped in his tracks, untangled himself from Melanie’s grip, and returned to us. Drew placed a hand on the small of Melanie’s back and his other one on the small of his girl’s back and walked them away from us. “Lil, drop it. You know Melanie. She’s always like that,” he looked at his sister pleadingly; it was obvious he was uncomfortable. “Yeah, I am aware that your beloved girlfriend is a bitch. But today, she just reached the next level of animosity.” “It’s okay, Lily,” I said. “You know what? I don’t feel well. I’ll go back to our room. See you both later?” I got up and tried to walk away. Logan caught my arm and stopped me. Definitely, now, I had the strong feeling that I wanted to slap him. “Stay. I will go,” he said. I refused to look at him and yanked my arm from his grip. Without any word, I sat back at the table. “Where are my pancakes? I ordered them a long time ago,” I said, trying to change the subject. Neither Lily nor Kate had said a word since the little exchange between Logan and me. Lily only looked at her brother, and after a minute, I heard Melanie’s voice. So, Logan returned to her. Kate was studying me. I smiled at her, and finally, the waitress came with our orders. We ate in silence and left the diner shortly after we finished. In the car, we chatted about some silly stuff just to fill the atmosphere. I thought back to the brief encounter with Logan. He was so damn confusing! I couldn’t deal with all of this, with the emotions he was stirring in me. I needed to stay focused on my studies. I guessed that in the end, my only option would be to ignore him. It would save my heart and my mind. I would be a good friend to Lily, but not to her big brother. He hadn’t stopped Melanie from harassing me. He hadn’t told her that she was wrong. But maybe, his silence made perfect sense. Maybe, it was because he felt some attraction toward me and he felt guilty about it. Of course, if he wasn’t attracted to me, he wouldn’t have come on to me in the bathroom as he had last night. But she was his girlfriend. He loved her. So I needed to let it go. And I did. *** If I said that I didn’t know or hear anything about Logan and his friends, I would be lying. He was everywhere, and so were his closest friends—Drew Milton and Tim Wallace. They all played football; they were all stars of the team and the public’s favorites. Logan was known as a kind and loyal guy; he was smart and had good grades. Also, he was always with Melanie. Some girls tried to break them apart, but they weren’t successful. He never cheated. Until me, I guess. It didn’t make me feel special. I felt dirty and hurt. Drew, on the other hand, was a player. He didn’t date anyone, but I heard rumors that he had a new girl at every party. He had the reputation of being a womanizer and was perfectly fine with it. Girls loved him. They wanted to sleep with him, even if it meant only a one-night stand. I overheard one girl’s talk with her friends; she called Drew the God of Sex. Maybe, but I didn’t intend to find out for myself. He might be beautiful and hot, but I wanted a relationship in the future and not a one-time fling. Tim was a mystery to me. He was known as a smart and witty guy; sometimes, he looked like a jester among his friends. But he got Kate hooked, and I wanted to know him better. I hadn’t had the chance to get introduced to him yet, but he was the only one of this trinity with whom I wanted to make friends. My first two months in college were a total whirlwind. I studied harder than I ever had before. Everything was new to me, but at the same time, I was excited to learn more. Studying English literature was my number one priority when I first thought about going to college. And so, I made it my top priority while I was there. I didn’t know what I wanted to do when I graduated, but I still enjoyed being there and gaining new knowledge. I was busy with my studies, so I didn’t have much time to think about Logan Jones and any drama surrounding him. Surprisingly, it was easy to avoid running into him on campus. Of course, I would see him and his friends in the hallways, but I made sure to stay out of their sight. That’s what mattered to me. We were taking different courses with different majors, but he happened to be my roommate’s brother. During this time, Lily, Kate, and I became close. I explained to Lily that after what Melanie had said about me, I felt uncomfortable around her and Logan. She seemed to understand, so she always gave me a heads up when he wanted to see her. I was out of our room at those times and started to feel more and more at peace. I didn’t want to pretend around him, so it was more comfortable this way. I guess it was like that for both of us after our moment at the fraternity house. Lily and Kate went to several parties, but I never joined them. I made excuses; they tried to persuade me, but eventually, they gave up. When they were at the parties, I stayed in Kate’s room. Her roommate, Nina, was a really nice and smart girl. She was nerdy but in a cute way. I liked her, and I guess because of me, she and Kate were able to find common ground. My life was getting back on track, and I was happy about it. Those first three days took too much from me. I was scared because I’d never before felt something so strong with a guy I’d only just met. I didn’t like the feeling, but I was aware that it was still there. I needed to remember that Logan was in a relationship with Melanie. I didn’t even understand what it was between us and, especially, what I was to him. I reminded myself of this over and over again. It was working. Because when one of my classmates, a guy named Rob, approached me and started chatting with me, I got the feeling that I enjoyed his attention. A short time after that, he became my study partner. Rob was a sweet, kind, and trustworthy guy. I liked being with him, having the opportunity to talk to a cute guy without feeling intimidated by his presence. He wasn’t confusing, and he gave me much-needed comfort. So when he invited me to have dinner with him, I agreed without hesitation. Rob was exactly what I needed, for now. After our second date, we kissed. It was good. It didn’t leave me speechless or give me any tingles. But I convinced myself that it was what I wanted and, most importantly, needed. Kate told me that Rob was annoying. I argued with her a lot about it, so she just dropped the subject and I was grateful for that. The time grew nearer to the first game of the season, the first home game actually. Everyone was talking about it and their expectations for our star quarterback and his squad. Ugh, those days, Logan was everywhere, but I was happy that I was still managing to avoid him. A party at the fraternity house was announced to be the last before the game. The game was scheduled for next Saturday. In the meantime, the next party was already planned for after our team’s win. That our team would win wasn’t even up for discussion; it was taken for a sure thing. At the end of the second month of school, I had been together with Rob for almost three weeks, so I started thinking that it was time to take our relationship to the next level. I wanted to have sex, but still, I hesitated. Even when Kate and Lily went to the fraternity house for this 'last party before the game' party, Rob and I only got as far as petting. I didn't let things go further with him. Now, he was snoring right beside me in my bed, while I lay wide awake. I started to think that my relationship with Rob was a huge mistake. He was a good friend to me, but an absolutely unsuitable boyfriend. We didn't click. Hell, I clicked with Logan the first second our eyes met. Why did I need to think about that asshole at a time like this? Shit, it was because he was still there, in my mind, and my thoughts. I glanced at my bedside table; it was already 2 a.m. Fuck! I hadn't gotten any sleep at all, and right now, I needed to wake Rob up. The girls would probably be back around 4 a.m., so I wanted him out before they returned. “Hey Rob... open your eyes. You need to get going already.” I nudged his shoulder lightly. “Becca... I want to stay.” Rob groaned and tried to kiss me. I rolled off the bed and stood there only in my panties. “Seriously, move. I warned you about it. Lily and Kate always stay in this room, and they will come back from this stupid party. And soon.” I put on my jean shorts and a white T-shirt. Since it was the middle of the night, I didn’t care what I was wearing. “Fine.” He was angry. I was thinking about what to do with our relationship. He was my friend, and I didn’t want to lose him. In a few minutes, I walked him out of our dormitory. Since most of the people were at the party, I was able to sneak him in and out without a problem. I stayed with him for a little longer. He pressed me against his car, and we kissed. He tried to ignite passion in me, but I felt numb. I responded to his caresses with laziness. I felt sick to my stomach because I was disgusted with myself. Using my peripheral vision, I saw a big car pulling into our parking lot. It was a dark-colored SUV, but I couldn’t see the car brand or the driver because it was dark. The SUV parked right beside Rob’s car and came to a stop. Rob stepped away from me, looking at the vehicle. “What is he doing here?” He sounded surprised and annoyed at the same time. “Who?” I asked because I honestly didn’t know. I turned around to look at the car more carefully. Before Rob had time to answer, the driver’s door opened, and Logan Jones jumped out. He wore a frown on his face and was looking straight at us.